Adapted from Intuitive Certainty, Chapter 10: “Freedom Looks Different Than I Expected”
The first time I turned down work from a client who drained my energy, I almost felt the need to apologize. My intuition had been telling me the relationship needed to change, but I was more concerned about disappointing the client than listening to myself. Saying no was unfamiliar, but the relief was exhilarating. It made me realize how much that relationship had been costing me.
That experience helped me recognize how easily concern for someone else’s reaction can override our own judgment. In Toxic People, Dr. Lillian Glass describes a toxic person as someone “who is not happy to see you grow, to see you succeed, who does not wish you well.” Recognizing that behavior can be difficult when someone’s criticism makes you question your judgment. You sense something is wrong, but start wondering whether you’re being unreasonable or overly sensitive.
That doubt can keep you participating in an unhealthy relationship long after you’ve recognized the pattern. Notice what happens when you disagree, set a limit, or share good news. Does the person respect you, or leave you defending yourself? Those repeated interactions deserve attention.
Prayer, meditation, and boundaries helped me distinguish between what I sensed and what I had been persuaded to accept. As I stopped seeking approval from people who undermined me, I became more willing to trust my intuition and act on it.
Giving the person and situation to God allowed me to release resentment while keeping the boundaries I needed. Never underestimate the power of forgiveness to move you forward.
In Intuitive Certainty, I share how learning to trust that inner guidance changed my relationships. Sometimes protecting your peace begins by taking seriously the discomfort you’ve been explaining away.